Friday Funnies

In Memory of the Worlds Most Gentle Soul- Apache

It is with great sadness that we said good bye to a second beloved family dog in 4 months. Apache came to be with us last year, his time was far too short but the joy he brought us was immeasurable. Connor feels deeply Apache is his guardian angel, I agree, Connor is lucky that he had time with his angel in physical form. Apache will always be with Connor watching out for him. Our hearts are absolutely broken, but we are so thankful for every moment we had with this big, beautiful, gentle soul. We will miss you Apache!!!

Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly
contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words.

And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.
7.. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run
over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12.. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.

New Online Craft Channel

I have a huge list of quilting, cooking, photography and decorating blogs.  I discovered blogs only a few months ago and I can not tell you how much I have learned especially about photography.  One of my favorites is I Heart Faces.   IHF has some AWESOME tutorials and weekly photography challenges.

This morning IHF announced they will have a new show on My Craft Channel.  My Craft Channel is the first of its kind online TV Craft Network. It goes beyond the simple web “how-to” home video & delivers broadcast quality programming. Over 20 new shows each week there is something for everyone. Top experts, bloggers & craft celebrities in various niches from sewing, painting, scrapbooking, DIY projects, photography, mixed media & more have joined together to bring education to the WEB with TV formatted shows.


I'm so excited because I am a very visual learner and I can't get enough of craft information.  HGTV no longer has their craft shows and there is such a demand.  Check out IHF and My Craft Channel and let's go make something!

Wednesdays Words of Wisdom

"If you can't be kind, be quiet".

I tell my son all the time, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.

Hoochy Fish Swimming in soon

Ok, so I'm so excited.  I've signed up for a fish swap with my favorite group of quilters.  My "water" fabric has arrived and my pattern is in my mail box.  34 Swappers  belong to Mary Lou Weidman's Yahoo Group.  Check out the link for the cutest fish you have ever seen.  I was reading some posts on the group this morning and I think I know what I want to do for my quilt when I get all those amazing fish in the mail.  My husband likes to fly fish. In fly fishing no bait is used, only these fancy, feathered and shiny lures. Whenever he is fly fishing with me, I've never seen him catch anything. So I always tease him and tell him "Put a worm of the end of that thing and you might catch something". I think I'll do a quilt with me holding a fishing pole that looks like a stick with a fish on the end, a pile of fish next to me and a bucket of worms and maybe him with his fancy fly fishing pole in the middle of a lake.  Will post pictures as soon as I get some blocks done ;-)

Friday Funnies

Small town living at its best

No I have not always been a mountain girl.  I grew up in Torrance, CA.  A big city.  Moved to Orange County when I got married, another big city.  Mr. Ranger used to be Mr. Helicopter Mechanic.  He decided enough of that malarky and went to Ranger School -actually a police academy-yup, he carries a gun...don't come camping at his lake and ask him where his "pic-a-nic basket" is, he might pull the gun on ya.-Rangers don't think that's funny-poor sense of humor some of them.

Anyhoo, sorry, I digress.  So every year on the weekend of 4th of July our town has Jamboree Days and fireworks over Lake Gregory.  It was big 10 years ago then got pretty small as the economy tanked and the chamber has worked really hard to bring it back.  There is a parade every year.  It is so hokie, small town, but I tell you I LOOOOVE IT.  It is patriotic, everyone comes out, you can't walk 50 feet without seeing someone you know.  It's just plain cute and it makes me all misty eyed when I see the firemen and rescue groups, little league kids and veterans all marching in the parade.  I think next year, I'm going to have the PTA in the parade with a bunch of students.
Won't that be fun.

My bff, Dawn.  We are both mountain girls...
except we shave our legs and we still have all our teeth...for now ;-)

Boo Boo and his cousin, the Moose.

My Peeps: Boo Boo, the Diva, The Moose and Yogi watching the parade and 

catching candy flying through the crowd.

It wouldn't be a hokie mountain parade without Capt. America.

Happy 4th of July. God Bless America.

Wednesdays Words of Wisdom

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...It's probably a duck.

Wednesdays Words of Wisdom

If you put a silk dress on a goat he is a goat still.

Can I get a HOOCHY HOOCHY?

Ok, I know, it's been 2 1/2 months since my last post.  I don't have the hang of this blogging thing yet. It's quite intimidating when you first start AND I've been ridiculously busy with taking on our School Board and being PTA President.  But I just wrapped up a fabulous imaginary safari luncheon with African dancers and everything for Staff Appreciation yesterday and today I got to spend the entire day with my sewing machine.  Oh how we've missed each other.   Anywho, my most favorite quilter in the whole wide world is Mary Lou Weidman .  I took her Hoochy Mama class in January and signed up for a Hoochy Bird Swap (my first swap EVER by the way).  Here are my birds. 

Mine are simple because I am the ultimate Productive Procrastinator  I can't wait to see what birds I get in return.  Some of the other participants have posted pictures on their blogs and they are REALLY darling.  Felt so good today to breathe in the cotton fibers!  Hope you enjoy, and would love some ideas of how to put all the birds into a creative "Out of the Box" type of quilt. 

Quick and Dirty

Ok, well, I'm still a little intimidated by this whole blogging thing, that's why I haven't posted anything in like over a month.  But here goes.  So...my youngest brother graduated from college recently and he's that kind of guy that is super hard to buy for, but he seems to appreciate art in all forms.  So I made him a little ditty for his wall.  When he opened it he said, "Wow, it's amazing that you can make something like that with your hands".  That was a nice compliment coming from him.  What do you think?  I had wanted to do Hoochy Mama border but the Productive Procrastinator in me didn't leave enough time.  Hoochy's on the next quilt for SURE!

Road Trip...Road to California!

I am so stinking excited, I can't stand it!  Tomorrow is the first quilting class I have taken in SEVERAL years!  It is ONE big step towards my goal on making 2011 more creative!  I'm going to Road To California and I'm taking a Hoochy Mama Class by Marylou Weidman! 

Marylou Weidman (pronounced WIDEman) is my most favorite quilter (check out her blog here).  I LOVE her quilting style, her quilts are full of color, very whimsical and just plain fun!  I can get lost in them.  I took her Every day angels class about 10 years ago and she was sooooo nice.  I was so star struck, I felt like a 12 year old girl meeting her favorite Spice Girl (I know, dorky).  That Everyday Angels quilt is my challenge.  I have a border pieces sewn and that's about it.  You can read more about it here.

Any who, I really wanted to take one of her 2 day classes but they were full, so I got the last Hoochy Mama spot and that suits me just fine.  I went to Joanns to pick out fabric for these wonky blocks.  It was interesting.  I purposely tried to be very carefree in picking out fabric.  The class list suggests different patterns, colors, geometrics etc.  Every time I stood back to look at my stash, I realized that even though I had many colors, the value was very similar.  In other words, I tend to pick mostly mediums for the most part.  It was really hard to get a true light or a true dark.  So here's what I ended up with.  I will also pull out some unique fabrics from my home stash to take too.  I can't wait to see how the HOOCHY MAMA blocks turn out. 

Road to California is a HUGE show. If you haven't been before, I highly recomend it.  Since my class is on Wednesday and the show doesn't open to the public until Thursday, I figure the prudent thing to do is to stay in a motel on Wednesday and stay over for the opening of the show on Thursday.  Brilliant!

My PhD's! Projects Half Done

Until I stumbled on Myra's PhD project here, I called mine UFO's.  I think I like PhD's it at least implies it closer to done than 'Unfinished' makes it sound, it's a little more optimistic.

Here are the 3 projects that are eating at me the most.  The first is a quilt I started probably 7 years ago.  An easy one, not sure why it's been so challenging to finish it up. My plan is to machine quilt the background and then apply the letters with bias.  Should be a quicky, right??? 

Project #1

Here's what it should like like finished

Project #2:
A block of the month that I started probably 10 years ago...eeek!  Until last year, I would pick this up every once in a LONG while and work on it.  I think I'm on month #7, but all those poinsettia leaves kind of overwhelmed me and I haven't touched it in a year and a half.  Every Christmas as I'm putting up decorations I always think..that Christmas quilt would sure look nice...I should really finish that.

Look how crumpled the pattern is.

Project #3.  I know specifically when I started this one and it will be the most challenging to finish, but it is the one I will learn the most from.  It's another Marylou Weidman, from her book Every Day Angels.  I took her class at Road to California in 1999.  My husband and I were waiting to adopt a baby.  The night before her class we were matched with birthparents and met them for the first time.  Needless to say the last thing on my mind the following day was quilting!  My every day angel quilt is going to be about my grandma. I was the first grandchild and the only girl, can you say "favorite?"  My grandma was living at the time, but she's passed away 7 years ago.  I think it's time I get this finished.  I have the border pieces finished and thats IT!  The green with the pearls on it is part of the dress she wore to my wedding in 1989.  I miss my grandma so much!  What a better way to honor her.  Thank you Myra for getting my juices going again!

Grandma and Me 1990

borders, fabric for her hair and part of the dress she wore to my wedding.

 

I'm afraid...very, very afraid.

Ok, so I've had this little  beauty for oh about 9 years now.  I wanted one really, really bad, I looked high and low for just the right one and.....I've NEVER used it.  I'm afraid of it, why?  I have not a clue.  How can something so pretty and sweet and cute be sooooooo scary?  I think I'll add this to my New Years Goals...learn how to not be afraid of this beautiful itty bitty Mercedes of quilting.  I wanted this machine because I had these big grandiose plans for taking a lot of quilting classes and I NEEDED  this machine (or at least that's what I told Mr. Ranger).  Needless to say, I it's been several years since I've even taken a class.  But that's gonna change this year.

Welcome to PPA- Productive Procrastinators Anonymous

Hello,  My name is Kim and I am a Productive Procrastinator.....Hi Kim.

definition of PRODUCTIVE PROCRASTINATOR:

[pruh-duhk-tiv] [proh-kras-tuh-ney-tor]–adjective, verb

1. having the power of producing; generative; creative: a productive effort but doing everything else instead until the motivation to do the original task is gone.  2. A girl by the name of Kim who gets a lot accomplished but not necessarily the projects she really wants to get accomplished. 

 

Can you believe 2010 is but all but a memory?  Where did that time go?  I've spent a lot of time reflecting on 2010 the last few days-what worked, what didn't.  2010 was a challenging year.  It felt like I did a lot of reacting to situations and not much planning. For example; ate out too often, because I was too busy or tired and didn't have options for meals at home-that's expensive and fattening.   I got a lot done in 2010 and conquered a couple of major challenges, BUT I can't say that what I got done was what I really wanted to have gotten done.  So my approach to everything this year is going to be different.


Here's what I'll do differently this year:

1. Focus on the family-Make no commitments without thinking how it will impact time with Mr. Ranger, Boo Boo and Yogi.  
2. walk at least 3 times a week (would really like to run a 1/2 marathon by May).
3. institute family game night 1 night per week
4. To nurture my creative inner soul by starting and completing 1 new quilting project a month
5. complete 3 PhD 's  by June (see Link to Myra's PhD Challenge on sidebar)
6. Spend 2 hours each week scanning old photos (about 3 thousand) into the computer and edit old videos to make DVD's by December 2011. (this is a BIG task)
7. spend 2 hours each week learning Photoshop 8.
8.  make 1 new fancy cupcake recipe a month-To be showcased on this blog.
9. Eat healthy 5 days of each week (will be making those cupcakes on 1 of the other 2 days not eating healthy)
10.  Gonna be a little more critical with my time so I can have more fun, be less rushed have more time to enjoy the little moments!

It's New Years Day...Have you had your Black Eyed Peas yet?

Eating Black Eyed Peas on News Year Day is a very Southern tradition.  My grandparents are from Georgia, and every year my grandma forced us to eat the little legumes.  Now I love them and look forward to them every year.  My oldest son, Yogi, LOVES black eyed peas, my younger son, Boo boo, not so much.  However, he did put on his big boy pants and swallow a spoonful to humor is mom.

The practice of eating black-eyed peas for luck is generally believed to date back to the Civil War. At first planted as food for livestock, and later a food staple for slaves in the South, the fields of black-eyed peas were ignored as Sherman's troops destroyed or stole other crops, thereby giving the humble, but nourishing, black-eyed pea an important role as a major food source for surviving Confederates.

So, if you haven't had your spoonful yet, stop on by for some good luck and prosperity for the New Year!